What distinguishes great leaders from merely good ones?
It isn't IQ or technical skills, says Daniel Goleman. It's emotional intelligence: a group of four skills that enable the best leaders to maximize their own and their followers' performance.
The program is very interactive. In today’s world many of us have lost touch with emotions. More such programs should be conducted as there are many more people in need for the same.
Mercedes Benz School
The program has been an eye opener bringing to the core the many challenges with confronting issued and finding solutions.
HR (ADP Comprehensive Outsourcing Services)
Dear Divyanshu (and Nimisha),
Thanks for the great two days. I am also planning to take a personal initiative and register for your 5 days workshop. I will be talking to you in due course about the same.
My Personal Action Plan is as below:
a) Journalling my conversation to ensure that I learn and practice empathic listening (I notice that is an improvement area for me)
b) Revisit the people I find irritating and list down as well as challenge the reasons why I find them so th
c) Monitor the number of times and the reasons why I visit the 6 floor emotions (acute negative emotions)
d) I will find ways and ideas to consciously take a time out whenever I visit the 6th Floor. I want my 6th floor to be the most abandoned and rejected floor in life.
Thanks once again for your kind advise and teaching all through the interaction.
Dear Divyanshu sir
Long time had elapsed after workshop of 10/1/12 & due to several excuses did not contact you & sorry for that.
Following graffiti came to my mailbox & suddenly remembered that I own a flat in “Bhavna apartment.“ Many years I stayed on 3 rd floor having close interaction with 4 th floor, 3-4 minutes spent on terrace, at a times had been very glad on 1 st floor
Now emotions have taken hypercontrol of my heart & realising the process from the workshop though late, I am having a nice go with emotions & steadily increasing my sty on 1 st floor I thank you for that & admire your astonishing attitude towards the life.
I hope to use & spread it.
It was a wonderful experience I got with you. You are such nice human being from we can take a lot other than academics.
I am fully satisfied and all my queries got solved.
The 2 day training program on “ Growing with emotional intelligence” was really an eye opener for me.
The training has started with your words “Let’s start the training”. But you kept the “silence” for 5 min. I came to know that silence is also disturbing few people. While being peaceful person, I like the deep silence, it’s a scary thing for some of the people. These people are so accustomed to regular day to day work with always “busy” mindset that the sudden silence creates discomfort feelings to them. You have taken individual opinion about the experience. I came to know that each individual has different perception on this phenomena. So it was assured in my mind that all people see the same thing from different paradigm / from their own mental map. (some are anticipating the next course of action, some are fearful while some are skeptical & thinking that the faculty is arrogant like the school master).
We , human beings always think emotionally. While some positive emotions (like happiness) are the real help to boost our confidence, the negative emotions like anger, hatred, sadness, inferiority complex are creating real trouble for the human being. In your work shop, I got opportunity to have self reflection on the emotions. You have elaborated the concept of self talk. I was knowing about the self talk earlier. We human beings are continuously talking to self 24 hours x 7 days(either positive or negative). But are we really aware of this? I have personally analyzed my thought pattern for the late evening on the first day but I surprised to know that when I am paying more attention on my thought process, the self talk is ceasing deeply. I am finding little control on the mind & mind starts wondering again in past or future without my knowledge. I think, Meditation is the best way to control these thoughts & be aware of self in the deeper present moment.
I have got new learning about the self talk & that is , there are 4 types of self talk based on internal self
talk & external talk with the universe. Many times ,I am modifying my self talk while speaking to others. I
came to know that this is happening since I am aware of the consequences / outcome & hence the self
talk is not matching with external talk. Amazing enlightenment!
You have explained the emotions by means of case study / role play related to cricket game. While the crucial game is lost to opponent, the Bowler, the fielder, the batsman, the captain, the coach ,all are thinking from different perspectives during the role play. Some are feeling guilty about themselves(due to bad performance), others are blaming to other team members giving justifications while some are justifying on the destiny saying that “today was not our day”. Very true & interesting. All people have different map & thinking & their perceptions on the same situation are different.
I also came to know that there are 400 distinct emotions which we are not at all known. I need to improve my vocabulary for these emotions & truly understand them. While this is my goal for next 2 months, I will strive to get more information on this. Also I need to work more on understanding of emotions by viewing the emotional pictures. I scored only 5 out of 14.Identifying the emotion in just 2 second is the real challenge. But I need to improve this skill in future. This will help me improving my interpersonal skill.
The movie clip of “ Final ball-Lagan movie” was great. I am always inspired by this movie. Earlier I watched this movie for imbibing the leadership qualities. But the “final ball clip” also can give us information on self talk happening inside. This movie is also showing emotional self talk with Amir Khan. Again different paradigm. This is very true. Like Amir Khan, when we are also going for any major event, the self thoughts are racing in our mind. Also when Amir Khan / Villagers are putting pressure on “Kachara” to get those final 5 runs in a ball,he is not able to perform well due to pressure situation. His body language is suggesting nervousness. Same thing happens in real time situation also when people are expecting a lot, the performance level of individual is affected. I hope it’s better to manage our emotions during such situations & be detached from it. While saying this thing is easy, it’s in practical sense is quite difficult. The thought process of Amir Khan- starting from around the world, the villagers, mother & Girlfriend’s confidence on him & finally in complete present moment is the ultimate win for him avoiding the “3 Guna Lagan”. We need to be in positive frame of mind in any crucial event.But I feel Amir Khan is also being affected by the intense emotion of anger / rage during the preparation. His behavior is affected by the statement “why we should pay Lagaan to British rulings”
The case of Zenadin Zedan-the football player is also amazing. The one who is always calm fellow being emotionally hijacked during the peak event of football world cup final resulting in disastrous end of his career & ultimate loss of final match by France. This is also true in life situations when theopponents/competitors are trying to play with our emotions for their win. The lesson learned is that we need to manage our emotions during such moments. Be cool & relaxed. This will make our opponent / competitors restless.
The bhavana Apartment is interesting. I came to know that we have a choice either to move from 3rd floor to 6th floor or from 3rd floor to 1st floor. Having the self knowledge about the emotional trigger points is very important so as not to jump to 6th floor. The emotion is based on 3 things-frequency, intensity & duration. When I am self evaluating myself, my duration & intensity of bad emotions is high & I need to improve on this.
The causes of emotions like belief system, differences of
opinions,values,expectations,culture,upbringing,situations/circumstances are important learning. Belief leads to thinking leads to feeling leads to behavior. The case of Dog or snake fear is explaining our belief system about them. So we are being affected emotionally due to such belief systems. It’s our choice to imbibe positive beliefs so as to climb the ladder of success. A,B,C,D,E of emotions is new learning. Most of the time, we are taking the decision based on emotions. It’s important to think rationally & take the decisions based on facts or data.
Understanding the emotions of others is also important & this can be developed through empathetic listening. Putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes & feeling their emotions during the empathetic listening will definitely resolve many issues.
The emotional management ways like focus on breath, what bad could have happened or writing the diary of events is helpful technique to relieve the negative emotions.
I am also inspired by your personal story. You were not given the admission to college because of
blindness. But despite of this, you challenged the system & make it happened. Its making me very
inspiring. People are looking at physical deficiency of others & but really forget that they themselves have
big deficiency in their thought pattern.
I am thankful to you & madam for helping me understanding this concept. The coordination of madam with you is really appreciable. When you are explaining the ideas, she is helping to jot down these ideas on the board for more understanding to team about the concept.
I strive to apply these concepts in my daily way of behavior with others. I tried to put my thoughts on the piece of paper. The length of this writing may seems long for which kindly forgive me but I tried to express my feelings as much as possible.
God bless both of you.
First of all, let me thank you for the effective two day session, you really got me trying to re-wire my brain about way I have been perceiving the world. Your logic and flow of thoughts were very inspiring and thought provoking.
I will structure my mail into two main categories. First one about what I "perceive" as I have learned. And second, about how I will go ahead applying what I learned.
1. Until this training, I used to think something is wrong with me, that I was the only one in this world
experiencing unwarranted situations (like voices in my head not letting me sleep, etc.). But from
different people experiencing the same things as I do, made me realize I am not alone.
2. There is lot to be unexplored within me. I will need your guidance to get in deeper within my own SELF.
3. We are solely responsible for our emotions. No one has the power to stir up the calm waters of my mind's lake, if I chose to be calm.
4. I need to change and I will. Need to work on improving my EQ after understanding completely what itis made up of. NEED TO WORK ON - MY PLAN
I would like to categorize my plan in 4 different points.
1. AWARENESS about myself (how I react to situations, etc.) : I would do this activity for the next one
week. Voluntarily I will introspect and tune within myself to watch my thoughts, environment, emotions,
beliefs, notions. I have started using a small pocket diary which I will actively use to fill in my
observations. - NEED YOUR HELP IN ORGANIZING THESE OBSERVATIONS IN A STRUCTURED/SCIENTIFIC
MANNER SO THAT I CAN CROSS REFERENCE THEM LATER.
Also, I will read the manual that you have provided and get to know the literature thats available - to increase my awareness on EQ.
2. CHERRY PICK the methods that suit me : I would try to plan a strategy in advance and try to enter an uncomfortable zone deliberately and try to observe my response in such environment.
3. APPLYING: Then I will try to apply whatever concepts/awareness I have learned. Try to find which concept applies to me - "One at a time".
4. CHECK: Every month monitor how my plan is working and check on myself if I have improved on managing my emotions better than earlier.
These are the ways I thought I would work, however I would be needing your guidance and periodic motivation to keep me on track. (I getdepressed/bored easily - Maybe because I cant self motivate myself).
Please suggest alternatives or better way of working out my action plan.
Also, since I am starting my journey, please do send some books, online materials, videos and workbooks so that it will help me to work on my EQ regularly and will keep me motivated and self- actualised.
Thanks a lot again for the experience!
Thanks for the awakening journey you have put me on!!
Trust me...I was going through an emotional turmoil between my parents and wife....sort of being
sandwiched between their expectations...till I met you...
I have started feeling a difference already when I spoke to my parents and my wife.....hope your
teachings and my learnings helps me tide this emotional ocean..
A herculean task for me but whenever I get stuck please permit me to give the SOS call to you to sort
this out and ensure I reach my goal.
Thanks for everything and specially for your support
Senior Manager- International Business [South Asia]
Hope you are doing great.
It’s been some weeks we had your training. And I realize that in my everyday life. No training so far has
such a deep impact on me so far. Thank you and your never say die attitude.
Thank You & Regards,